The Problem
You’re in that situation again. Someone intimidated you in a work setting and you let them get away with it. Now, it haunts you. You ruminate about it all of the time.
The Solution
First, refrain from dwelling on it by taking a deep breath, knowing you can stop this bully in their tracks. It’s not likely to happen during the moment of victimization, but know you can set a time, under your control, to prevent this bullying from happening again. Contact the bully at a future date and arrange a time to meet in private.
Second, at this meeting, ask the bully, “Is it your intention to communicate with others through intimidation?” Most often, the bully will deny it.
Third, calmly state, “That’s not my experience.” It’s virtually impossible to argue with that statement. Now, expand by explaining that the bully is responsible for the physical and emotional health care costs of victims and may be subject to personal lawsuits. Indicate the organization the bully works for could incur legal costs too for violating the civil rights laws of victims. Finally, note the bully can suffer isolation, demotion, or even job loss for his or her behavior. The bully’s typical response is, “Are you threatening me?”
Fourth, sit back in your chair, smile and say, “No, I’m not. I’m just explaining the consequences of your actions.” It’s now time to remain composed, get up, and just walk away.
